Are you sensitive? Feeling isolated? Confused?
Some of us pick up so many signals from those around us that we have difficulty discerning what feelings belong to us. Making others happy, or at least more comfortable, becomes a priority over our own well being. This can lead to thoughts that we have no control over our life or that our needs don’t matter.
Gaining deeper self-understanding
How do we determine clear boundaries on what is ours to do and what is others’ work? We begin with opening to self understanding, care and love. When we befriend ourselves, we gain courage and clarity. Tuning into ourselves and articulating our needs, desires, and dreams, creates connection with others. We first attempt to express ourselves with our parents or caretakers. We created strategies depending on how they responded. The strategies that worked as a child are no longer effective as an adult. We can now learn to turn inward, remembering who we are. Our inner wisdom leads us to more certainty and joy. Building a trusting and kind relationship with oneself spills over into our relationship with others. It’s okay to need what we need. We deserve to be loved!
How honesty brings out your parent wisdom
Frustrated that your child is not listening? Adults and children alike don’t willingly listen when being told what to do. Would you like to change this conflict into a win-win scenario? The energy and emotions behind the words and actions speak louder than the words and actions themselves. Children respond to this energy. We cannot control our children, but we can make choices about the words we speak and the actions we take. We do this by being mindful of what is truly happening internally when we want to scream because our child still has not cleaned her room or finished homework. Mindfulness slows us down and leads to a response that will be heard. This is the focus of my work with parents. Listen to your own internal wisdom. Bring your honesty and vulnerability to join your child on the same team. Win-Win.
Focusing on real human needs
Marriage is more challenging than the blissful romance that movies often portray. Our once-perfect partner, who initially brings out the best in us, transforms into someone that we feel compelled to confront, control, avoid, or defend against. Arising conflicts can pile up so high that separation seems the only way to get to the other side. Instead, one can follow their frustration to what they need most. Vulnerably bringing our needs creates opportunity for our partner to effectively support us. Meeting each other’s needs fosters love and connection. These needs are NOT a list of things your partner must do or change to make you happy. When you’re upset, honestly answering, “What do I really need?” opens you. My work with couples focuses on following needs to become honest and clear with how you want to be loved in this moment.