Dear Baby,
I am ready to receive.
I am dreaming of the day I can hold you in my arms.
I’ve been preparing the way for you.
I am open, I am love, I am blessed.
You can take the time you need.
You can let me know if there’s anything else to do.
We can be together soon.
I am open, I am love, I am blessed.
With love and curiosity,
your Mother
You are sitting with your feet on the floor, a fork in your hand, and your forearms resting on the wooden dining table. It’s a holiday dinner and your family and friends are gathered with you around a cornucopia of food, including specially prepared roasts and mixed root gratin. As you eat your last bite and swallow one more sip of wine, you exhale a relaxed sigh, look around at those you love and feel completely sated. In this moment, you feel nourished, supported, and fully satisfied.
The element of earth connects us to the ground and the physical world. With it comes the power of trees, rock, and mountains. Although most of our body is water, our bones, which are earth energy, support our body structure. Earth energy is represented by practicality, stability, and dependability. The friend that is always home and is a reliable “rock” to lean on is full of the element of earth. Connection to the element of earth brings the wisdom of what is truly nourishing. Relationships with balanced earth energy are stable and contain mutual support. A place truly called “home” is earth energy.
Being homeless, feeling completely unsupported, or psychosis may all indicate the lack of earth energy. Not enough earth energy may result in feeling spacey or ungrounded. With too little earth, we may break our bones more easily. When we are not fully in our bodies, it is easy to miscalculate a doorway or step. If you find yourself tripping or bumping into things, the element of earth may be missing.
When earth energy is out of balance, we experience cravings and obsessions. Too much earth, we may hoard material items, overeat, or have difficulty getting up off the couch into action.
To bring in more earth, try hugging a tree, gardening, eating outdoors, or walking barefoot in sand, mud or through grass. Cleaning your home, cooking a wholesome meal or sitting in a favorite chair covered by a soft blanket brings comfort. Any physical activity in which you are in tune with your body can activate earth energy. Engage with nature while also in your body and all the sensations that your body experiences. Sit down family dinners bring can be grounding, nurturing, and comforting for all members of the family.
Imagine you’re walking through your living room and suddenly you stub your toe on the coffee table. You cry out in pain shouting a few of swear words, tears roll down your cheeks. As you grab your toe, you fall onto the couch, rocking to sooth the pain. The front door opens, in walks your daughter returning from school. She sits next to you and shares a humorous encounter from class and you both begin laughing together. You get interrupted by the phone ringing, but when you pick it up you’re annoyed that the caller already hung up. As you set the phone down, you glance out the window and see a hummingbird feeding on a red tubular flower and you’re filled with awe and a smile forms on your lips. You’ve just experienced the flow of water energy. Pain flowed into happiness into annoyance into awe, with each allowed its own external expression.
The element of water relates to our emotions. Still water is reflective. In a stream, water moves around obstacles like rocks that are in their path and slowly erodes them into earth. Balanced water energy flows naturally and emotions are free to come and go, without blocking them or clinging to them. If we stay in action or in our minds to avoid how we feel, we miss connecting to our self and may lead to confusion. Being with our feelings brings fluid open-heartedness. The element of water brings deep emotional connection to others as well as our self.
When the element of water is missing in our relationship, there is a lack of vulnerability and intimacy. This can look like moving through life robotically without any connection to how you are feeling. Building a dam to stop the natural flow of feelings might look like a person who always stoic and emotionless.
Too much water might look like a person who is wallowing in sadness, pity, victim consciousness. Unable to take in the current moment, they are revolving around the same emotion from the past. Overwhelm of emotions can lead to collapse as seen when we cry ourselves to sleep. We can become so flooded with emotion, unable to be interrupted, that it’s difficult to participate in life.
Just being near water can elevate water energy. Sit at the beach and watch the waves crashing down on the sand and rocks, one wave following another. Reflectively, rest near a pond or in a bath and notice what feeling arises within you. Or more actively, take a shower and feel the warm water splashing down your back, washing away the day’s anguish. It’s no coincidence that innovative ideas often bubble up in the shower. Playing in water invites the element of water in. Connecting with your feelings, either alone or with someone you trust, will invite in the element of water. It is necessary to feel your feelings rather than talk about them to access the vulnerability of water. Asking yourself the proverbial therapist question, “How does this make me feel?” is intended to bring in the element of water.
Suddenly, you have an intense craving for a piece of your favorite chocolate. You might just snuff out that desire immediately by thinking rationally about why you shouldn’t eat chocolate at 10 p.m. Or, you may fan the flame of your desire by imagining how delicious it will taste on your tongue, and then checking online for the hours of the closest market that sells it. You are not deterred when you find out the only place that’s still open is two towns away. Instead, you jump up with excitement, slip on your flip flops and hop in your car. When you return 45 minutes later with only the chocolate bar wrapper left, know that you have just experienced the element of fire. Fire is desire in movement.
The element of fire relates to passion, desire and energy. We might say he “burns with passion” or she was “radiant” and “on fire” during her performance, both demonstrating the element of fire as desire and passion in human form. All living things need fire energy to survive and we absorb this from our radiating sun, an ever burning ball of fire. To thrive, we need excitement and the energy that comes with excitement to take on new challenges. When we lack the quality of desire, we are not open and ready for opportunities that come our way and may procrastinate or let obstacles block us. It is with balanced fire energy that we know what we want and take right action.
Living more like roommates or business partners rather than romantic lovers is an indication that the element of fire is lacking in a marital relationship and can be seen in marriages that involve little or no sexual connection. Individually, when we don’t know what we want or we are not moving towards something we desire, we may end up feeling bored, depressed, or stuck in a rut.
Fiery passion can be all consuming. If this blazing desire is blocked by doubts or fears, it becomes unhealthy in a relationship. Jealousy, controlling behaviors and domestic violence may be indications of an extreme amount of desire that is blocked by other forces such as insecurity. Individuals with an excess of fire energy may be hyperactive, aggressive or intrusive past others’ physical or emotional boundaries. Lots of action, but not “right” action, can be dangerous, unstable and unpredictable just like a wild fire. Humans enjoy the exhilaration of moving at high speeds, but when we follow the impulse to drive extreme speeds without regard to the risk of our life or the lives of others on the road, we are reckless.
If you need to connect to desire in your life, you might try building a fire and watching the flames. Another option is lighting some candles. When you’re done enjoying the flame, make a wish for something you want before blowing out each candle. To invite passion in, put on some music with a fast beat and then dance and sing with wild abandon. For some extra heat, add a bit of chili peppers to your pasta salad or breakfast on hot wings. Candles, spicy foods, and dancing all are ways to fan our flame of desire.
Take a moment to allow your mind to conjure a scene. You’re walking on a wooded path in the mountains. You can feel the crisp air on your face and the smell of pine fills your nose. A nearby stream burbles as it brings the melted snow into the valley. In this brief moment you’ve been transported instantly to a scene far from where you are physically sitting. Immediate and effortless movement is always available by engaging your mind through a series of thoughts. Our imagination, an experience of air energy, is delightful and powerful.
The element of air brings us the power of our minds. Air energy supports our thoughts…our thoughts can transform to words…our words can be spoken or written…our words communicate with others. Balanced air flows naturally with direction such as a refreshing breeze. With fresh air comes clarity. Stagnant air prevents clear thinking. Some ways we might observe air energy in our daily lives include: conversing with a friend, telling a story, writing a book, analyzing a situation, or thinking through a problem to get to a solution.
When we have a lack of air, we may notice we’re holding our breath, or taking shallow breaths. This is a way of shutting ourselves down and waiting for something to change externally. The problem that this creates is that we can’t see the wisdom of how to proceed until we breathe into our inner guidance. Denial is another indication of a deficiency of air. Not letting ourselves think about a situation that is not working for us blocks flow. So does staying in a job that we hate by refusing to consider options. In relationships, if we don’t want to “think about it” or “talk about it”, we may be missing the element of air.
Rapid or excessive talking without any follow through action can be an indication of too much air. It can be likened to stormy winds. We might observe a person talking so quickly that they beginning spitting as they are speaking; they are not allowing fresh air in with their breath. Excess air may also look like over-analyzing, obsessive thoughts, confusion, or physical headaches. Chaos can result if strong winds prevail for long periods of time. In relationships, over-thinking about your partner’s actions and thoughts or over-planning every decision can indicate too much air energy.
We can increase air with focused breathing. Talking to a friend, writing with free association, sitting in the wind, or making a plan will also bring in more air. Some strategies to decrease air include: taking action on a previously thought out plan, quieting our mind by meditation, or doing physical activities that bring attention into the body. Being spontaneous can balance air energy in relationships. Imagine flying like a leaf in the wind, open to wherever the currents take you next.
